Thanks.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

I'm spending my time in the beautiful state of Georgia in LaGrange. Atlanta is the next biggest city around. I jetted off, rather rode off, into the sunset with a classmate of mine. We'll call him Little Man.

I can't think.

Anyone out there?

Good morning everyone! It's 4:50 in the am and I haven't slept in hours.

I'm not feeling particularly well as of late, some of it actual illness, more of it a tragic case of the monthlies.

I've become re-enamored (not a word, I'm sure) with the wonder of a fantastic computer. This summer was relatively computer free; I finally destroyed my Mac and was forced to rely on the family Dell and a prehistoric Compaq laptop. So I kind of boycotted the whole business instead. But now I am here in my very first apartment sitting at my very own kitchen table fiddling with my brand new MacBook Pro. It is sleek and sexy in the manner of all the Macs but this one takes it to the next level because of the software. Full Sail is amazing. They realize that in order to succeed in an industry driven by technology, you as the student need to have complete access to the technology. So, in addition to the computer, my tuition garnered me FINAL CUT STUDIO 2 and ADOBE CREATIVE SUITE 3 PROFESSIONAL! I'm talking Photoshop, Illustrator, Dreamweaver, Flash (with Video Encoder), and InDesign. I actually welled up with tears as we watched a video they had put together to illustrate the capabilities of our software package. I haven't been this excited about any single oppurtunity since the first time I headed off to Denison.

I am finally coming in to my own. It's taken twenty two years and three different colleges but I think I've found myself. Finally.

I've been geeking it out hardcore lately. I am fascinated by Photoshop and my own image. I've done alot of crappy stuff and some good but I particularly like this one image:
I took the picture in Photobooth, so I did do a little cheat but I have to say, I'm pleased with the end result. My new friend and schoolmate, Aeon, insists that I work with pictures of me because I am just that conceited. But that's not it, I swear. I'm just easy and available. Kind of a camera ho.

Not to change the subject, but...

Speaking of being a ho, well not being a ho really because I'm not, but speaking of fornication, I am contemplating my next moves. Piano Man, or is he Music Man?, is delightfully tempting but Sparks is still my sweetie. I was on the phone with him and he was telling me that he couldn't wait until I got home for Christmas break. I responded in kind, telling him I was going crazy with the waiting. He said, "Wait for me. I hope you can wait for me." Wow. I don't know if he knows how he sounds when he says these things but he has a way of sending m into a tailspin. He's five years older than me but he really has such a sweet innocence about him. He's sexy and charming and sensitive and affectionate. He's a man but I always feel like I could scandalize him. I don't want to; I want to make this work. I'm trying to be a good girl. I'm trying to get rid of past behaviors and attitudes. I'm trying to be faithful in an open situation. But it's really damn hard.

More.

So wat had happened was....

I'm at Full Sail studying Digital Arts and Design! I will be the lucky owner of knowledge to surpass the knowledge of all others. Score.

But first, like usual, I must talk about the men in my life.

Capone: We had a nasty, nasty breakup. Leaving one to say, "You got back together?" Th answer is yes and the end game of that sitiuation landed me in the hospital. No more. Never again will you have to worry bout his nam on my lips.

Mr. Green Apron: We had a falling out and though he insists tat he is not actually mad at me but we haven't spoken to each other in months. It's ok though, the two of us equaled a giantic headache.

Dildo: He's still in Richmond. He's as crazy as he's ever been.

now to the new arrivals....

Sparks: He looks like Shane Sparks from "So You Think You Can Dance?" and moves even better. We met in my Tuesday hip hop class; he's the teacher. He's sexy and massively appealing, needless to say, I think I'm his favorite student.

Piano Man: I've actually known him for years but incidentally, we both ended up at Full Sail and we live right across the street from each other. He's a ton of fun and I'm looking forward to the time we're gonna spend together.

Ok, so Sparks and I began hanging out under kind of unfortunate circumsatnces. He had missed a couple of classes when I decided to email him and see what was up. He responded by informing me that his father had recently died of colon cancer. I of course, was shocked and devasted for him. I asked him if thee was anything that I cold do. He asked me what I was doing that weekend. We went out once and he've been talking ever since. That was about two months ago. I've been in Florida for almost a month. I miss him but naturally, there is going to be a cerain element of lonliness that sets in eventually. It's set in and set in hardcore. I've begun to get bit sick as a result of the stress and yesterday, when I was feeling particularly lonely, asked Piano man if he could bring me smething for my fever. He came over. We laughed. We joked. We composed a new dance form that operates with at least one person lying horizontally on a bed. The bed is where the problem comes in. We're playing on my bed, dancing and ouncing and then eventually laying still in each others arms. He goes home to change into some pjs. We get in to bed. We...I cooked him breakfast this morning.

There enlies my dilemna.

Adore them both.

Can I have them both?

I'm Changin'.

Whoa. New Schhol again. I'm in Orlando at Full Sail. It's great.

There's boys. but there's class. finish later

hello?

I never update this thing, do I?

I think that I've given you an update in what's going on in my life right now. I'm just schooling and working, working and schooling. Things are pretty consistant and to tell you the truth, kind of boring. About the boys in my last entry:

Mr. Green Apron: We've gotten closer. I'm unsure of the status of our relationship but I don't thing that he is really that clear about where things are going either. We spent Valentine's Day together but it could have just been a fluke. I said somthing stupid to him though and he's mad and not speaking to me.

Capone: Chatted with him on the teephone. It was refreshing and easy. He has a girlfriend, he is happy and healthy and we had a good time catching up. He said that he is going to give me another call sometime.

Dildo: He moved back to richmond. He's here, we were wildly passionate for a minute, I told him that we needed to back up off of this and he took it hard but quickly rebounded and got himself a new girlfriend. hmm. How odd.

so those of the male persuasion are not really falling under my spell as of late. oh well. We all have our slumps.

The one that got away...?

Been a long time.

I'm back in Richmond, attending John Tyler for my associates in Graphic Design and then working toward my bachelor's in English. I'm hoping to open up a book publishing company. I'm tired, so there will be more details on that later.

Stopped talking to Mr. Green Apron and haven't heard a peep from Capone in the past few months. I can't say I'm particularly surprised; shit happens and happens more often when dealing with either one of those two. There is a guy who seems to want to hang on, though. Let's call him Dildo. It's a thinly veiled psuedonym but the one I'm going to stick with all the same. He has informed me that he has been having semi-regular dreams about him and I getting married. He has informed me that I am the only girl that he has still cared about after the breakup. We've been broken up for, I would say, about six years. I missed him as I talked to him and found myself all the sudden being back with him, falling back in love with him. I don't know.

Me So...

Fill in the word for yourself. trust your instincts. The first instinct is usually the right one.

Fortunately, my desire for Geezy was short-lived. That was a unique display of desperation. Don't get me wrong, the boy is sexy as a motha but I would probably have to talk to him in order to shag him. And the thought of wasting my oxygen on him doesn't make me especially happy.

Besides....

I'm going home to Mr. Green Apron in a little more than a week! Yaaaaaaaaaay! Sexxxxxxxxx! Love....no, just sex.

Heh heh heh.

Should be writing a paper. Let me stop writing this.

Would really like to fornicate right now, though.