Anyone out there?

Good morning everyone! It's 4:50 in the am and I haven't slept in hours.

I'm not feeling particularly well as of late, some of it actual illness, more of it a tragic case of the monthlies.

I've become re-enamored (not a word, I'm sure) with the wonder of a fantastic computer. This summer was relatively computer free; I finally destroyed my Mac and was forced to rely on the family Dell and a prehistoric Compaq laptop. So I kind of boycotted the whole business instead. But now I am here in my very first apartment sitting at my very own kitchen table fiddling with my brand new MacBook Pro. It is sleek and sexy in the manner of all the Macs but this one takes it to the next level because of the software. Full Sail is amazing. They realize that in order to succeed in an industry driven by technology, you as the student need to have complete access to the technology. So, in addition to the computer, my tuition garnered me FINAL CUT STUDIO 2 and ADOBE CREATIVE SUITE 3 PROFESSIONAL! I'm talking Photoshop, Illustrator, Dreamweaver, Flash (with Video Encoder), and InDesign. I actually welled up with tears as we watched a video they had put together to illustrate the capabilities of our software package. I haven't been this excited about any single oppurtunity since the first time I headed off to Denison.

I am finally coming in to my own. It's taken twenty two years and three different colleges but I think I've found myself. Finally.

I've been geeking it out hardcore lately. I am fascinated by Photoshop and my own image. I've done alot of crappy stuff and some good but I particularly like this one image:
I took the picture in Photobooth, so I did do a little cheat but I have to say, I'm pleased with the end result. My new friend and schoolmate, Aeon, insists that I work with pictures of me because I am just that conceited. But that's not it, I swear. I'm just easy and available. Kind of a camera ho.

Not to change the subject, but...

Speaking of being a ho, well not being a ho really because I'm not, but speaking of fornication, I am contemplating my next moves. Piano Man, or is he Music Man?, is delightfully tempting but Sparks is still my sweetie. I was on the phone with him and he was telling me that he couldn't wait until I got home for Christmas break. I responded in kind, telling him I was going crazy with the waiting. He said, "Wait for me. I hope you can wait for me." Wow. I don't know if he knows how he sounds when he says these things but he has a way of sending m into a tailspin. He's five years older than me but he really has such a sweet innocence about him. He's sexy and charming and sensitive and affectionate. He's a man but I always feel like I could scandalize him. I don't want to; I want to make this work. I'm trying to be a good girl. I'm trying to get rid of past behaviors and attitudes. I'm trying to be faithful in an open situation. But it's really damn hard.